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Miranda's time in Sabra has taken a severe down turn as of day 169. She's foundering in who she is. She opened a Pandora's box when she started questioning what she wanted to become. All the confidence that she'd built up since arriving crashed down around her as self-doubt began to worm its way into her life. In her mind though, the Mirror game also eroded something even more important -- her position within the team. Miranda's love of her teammates will never disappear, but... she's worried about her actions. She was horrible. She fought with Ikki whom she adores and respects more than anything. She... okay, she was a bitch, and worse, she was a bitch to her teammates whom she loves.
She has not resolved any of her emotional turmoil from the Mirror game. She hasn't felt comfortable speaking to her teammates about it. She hasn't even turned to anyone off team to talk about it. She's been bottling it up super tight, and it's... going to explode or burn her out eventually.
There have been a few other blows to her confidence levels as well.
The first of these was Haunted's game on day 179. She died. To be more specific, she willingly sacrificed herself to protect people. That part, Miranda is A-okay with. Haunted, however, botched her revivals though, and Miranda came back, but she didn't come back to life. Watanuki mentioned it when he talked to her after her revival, however it was Dove's noticing something wrong that really sank all the fears into Miranda. Until Dove noticed, Miranda had not told anyone that she had died in that game.
Being dead scares Miranda horribly, and she doesn't know how to cope with the thought of it. She again doesn't really have many people to turn to on this one. She doesn't want to bring it up to her teammates or to the Exorcists because she doesn't want them to worry about her or to be upset by things. She has spent an increasing number of hours away from Pyxis because of this, and it has severely effected her ability to handle things on a day to day basis. (PS - this may mean that Pyxis laundry hasn't been done in a few days guys.) She's not sleeping, she's not eating. She actively throws herself into things that come up because it's better than thinking about the fact that she's very much dead right now.
Then came day 183 and Miranda learned a new way to hurt and be scared of herself. She felt people die in the Horn/Lovers game. Feeling people "disappear" is actually a canon thing for Miranda. It happens repeatedly when Allen and gang get kidnapped by the Earl into the Arc. Miranda remains connected to the people in the Arc vaguely by the Time Record which is "holding their time" still. However, since she's too exhausted and weak to actually power it, she merely feels as the people disappear from the Time Record. Canonly, this tears Miranda up inside. In Sabra, feeling four entire teams die as a banshee, Miranda is beyond torn up. She's now completely at loose ends with no idea how to pull shit back together.
The final straw came from one of her own teammates. Getting snapped at by Great when she was concerned about his first memory kind of... idek bad place. It's not the first time someone on the team has snapped at her (Blood mostly), but in addition to everything else that's been going on since the Mirror game plus her own two negative significant memories, she really has no idea how to handle things.
Things to have noticed around Pyxis dorm in the last few weeks:
1) Laundry isn't getting done daily anymore -- twice a week is as good as you can hope for.
2) Miranda isn't eating with the team, or even sitting down to meals with them most of the time.
3) Miranda hasn't slept since 179 -- not in an insomnia kind of way, just a doesn't need sleep way.
4) She's not smiling much. When she does, it's a weak smile.
5) She's more nervous and uncomfortable than she has been since she arrive in Sabra.
6) She's been avoiding Pyxis dorm in general a bit.
7) She will probably be avoiding games for a while as best she can in hopes that she won't feel the deaths.
THIS WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT TO WRITE ABOUT! Oops. orz
Any questions?
She has not resolved any of her emotional turmoil from the Mirror game. She hasn't felt comfortable speaking to her teammates about it. She hasn't even turned to anyone off team to talk about it. She's been bottling it up super tight, and it's... going to explode or burn her out eventually.
There have been a few other blows to her confidence levels as well.
The first of these was Haunted's game on day 179. She died. To be more specific, she willingly sacrificed herself to protect people. That part, Miranda is A-okay with. Haunted, however, botched her revivals though, and Miranda came back, but she didn't come back to life. Watanuki mentioned it when he talked to her after her revival, however it was Dove's noticing something wrong that really sank all the fears into Miranda. Until Dove noticed, Miranda had not told anyone that she had died in that game.
Being dead scares Miranda horribly, and she doesn't know how to cope with the thought of it. She again doesn't really have many people to turn to on this one. She doesn't want to bring it up to her teammates or to the Exorcists because she doesn't want them to worry about her or to be upset by things. She has spent an increasing number of hours away from Pyxis because of this, and it has severely effected her ability to handle things on a day to day basis. (PS - this may mean that Pyxis laundry hasn't been done in a few days guys.) She's not sleeping, she's not eating. She actively throws herself into things that come up because it's better than thinking about the fact that she's very much dead right now.
Then came day 183 and Miranda learned a new way to hurt and be scared of herself. She felt people die in the Horn/Lovers game. Feeling people "disappear" is actually a canon thing for Miranda. It happens repeatedly when Allen and gang get kidnapped by the Earl into the Arc. Miranda remains connected to the people in the Arc vaguely by the Time Record which is "holding their time" still. However, since she's too exhausted and weak to actually power it, she merely feels as the people disappear from the Time Record. Canonly, this tears Miranda up inside. In Sabra, feeling four entire teams die as a banshee, Miranda is beyond torn up. She's now completely at loose ends with no idea how to pull shit back together.
The final straw came from one of her own teammates. Getting snapped at by Great when she was concerned about his first memory kind of... idek bad place. It's not the first time someone on the team has snapped at her (Blood mostly), but in addition to everything else that's been going on since the Mirror game plus her own two negative significant memories, she really has no idea how to handle things.
Things to have noticed around Pyxis dorm in the last few weeks:
1) Laundry isn't getting done daily anymore -- twice a week is as good as you can hope for.
2) Miranda isn't eating with the team, or even sitting down to meals with them most of the time.
3) Miranda hasn't slept since 179 -- not in an insomnia kind of way, just a doesn't need sleep way.
4) She's not smiling much. When she does, it's a weak smile.
5) She's more nervous and uncomfortable than she has been since she arrive in Sabra.
6) She's been avoiding Pyxis dorm in general a bit.
7) She will probably be avoiding games for a while as best she can in hopes that she won't feel the deaths.
THIS WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT TO WRITE ABOUT! Oops. orz
Any questions?